It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
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just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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