Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
