I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
