some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
