So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
