I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
