tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize