I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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