Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
