So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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