I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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