Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize