Umm I'm too high to move.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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