so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize