Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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