i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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