After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
