its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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