so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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