Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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