No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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