I like my sex mixed with concussions.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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