I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
