At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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