yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
