I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
