so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
