I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
