I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
