i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
