Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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