There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
