I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
