ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
