From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
