My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just puked most of my soul out..
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
