you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize