I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
