i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
they're like a gay fantastic four
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This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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