Kiss
Puke
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
