I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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