dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize