At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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