every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
