so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
