You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pappa wants mamma naked
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
