is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
