I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
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