If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
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My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
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I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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