he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
