I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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