Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
