How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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