We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
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I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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