I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize