Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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