Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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