My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
