those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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