I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
