garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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